"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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