I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
did i walk over a car last night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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