what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
