What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
