Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
