how can u be prego again
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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