Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize