He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
