I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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