dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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