That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
