I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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