i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
