his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize