Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
