My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
