I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
