i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
