Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
