Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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