apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
