Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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