I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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