now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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