Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
