Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
