we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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