Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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