I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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