I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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