Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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