There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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