I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
