This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
