One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
