is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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