haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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