one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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