Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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