we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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