I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
