what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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