We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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