note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
where are you?
Hypothermia
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
