Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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