party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
