Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
