I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she looked like the before picture.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
