Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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