Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When are your genitals available?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
