awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Be still, my beating vagina.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
