those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
