Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
