Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
