What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
