oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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